It's in the Eyes
by happy45
Summary: She wondered if things could have been different if they'd met earlier. If he hadn't have fallen in love with Gabby first, maybe she wouldn't be closing herself up like this. Maybe she wouldn't be going into self-destruct mode over her insecurities. Maybe she wouldn't be so scared to love him. / Brettsey OS


**Hi everyone! This is just a little Brett/Casey one-shot that I wrote super quickly last night. It's kind of a random premise. It's mainly from Brett's point of view as she struggles to open up to Casey when Gabby returns. It's a little OOC for all the characters involved, but that's the fun of this site, right?! **

**I've seen a lot of online arguments about Casey/Brett/Gabby and it's so cool seeing people so passionate about these characters, but if we could try to avoid turning the reviews section into a fight/attempts to make your case for Gabby, that would be great… this is just a little bit of fun and doesn't need to become that.**

**I hope my fellow Brettsey fans enjoy!**

* * *

**It's in the Eyes**

* * *

She wondered if things could have been different if they'd met earlier. If he hadn't have fallen in love with Gabby first, maybe she wouldn't be closing herself up like this. Maybe she wouldn't be going into self-destruct mode over her insecurities. Maybe she wouldn't be so scared to love him. She also wondered if things could have been different if she hadn't screwed up all her previous relationships. She knew she wanted the next person she was with to be 'the one,' though she wasn't even sure if she believed there was such a thing. She also wondered if her life would be easier if she just took a stand as an independent woman that needed no one – but her heart wouldn't allow it.

So here she was, completely in love with Matt Casey, but not really knowing what to do with it – despite having been in a 6 month relationship with him. He knows how she feels about him, despite the fact she has a hard time expressing it verbally. It is written in her body language and especially in her eyes. From the way she looks at him, it's as if her pupils have taken the shape of hearts – it's the way he looks right back at her too. They'd gotten really good at reading each other's emotions without saying anything at all. One look could scream _I love you._

But here she was, wondering if she should just end it now and save herself the long term heart ache (though there was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that it would be painful no matter when she did it, because she had never loved anybody like she loved him.)

How did they even get to a place that she would feel like that?

It was probably when Gabby Dawson came back into town.

* * *

Brett had returned to Chicago three months after the mattress factory fire. She'd realised that she wasn't an Indiana girl anymore. She wondered if she'd ever been. Her heart was in Chicago – in more ways than one.

But right now, she thought this may have been the first of many mistakes she made. On her first shift back, he was the first person she'd looked around for. When she finally saw him, her legs started to wobble slightly, and she said a silent prayer that she wouldn't choke on her own spit again when she greeted him. She'd hugged him, she'd smiled at him, they'd shared a moment. She probably shouldn't have let herself long for him again. She should have known that it would cause her more heart break in the future.

"_51 just hasn't been the same without you"_

He'd told her, but it was his roundabout way of saying _I missed you_. He doesn't need to say those words, however, because she can see in his eyes that it's true. She also feels it in her own heart, and it didn't make the longing any easier.

"_The feeling's mutual" _

She had replied in her _own_ roundabout way of saying she'd missed him too. That was probably another mistake. She'd somehow given away so many emotions without being explicit at all. After all, it was all in the eyes.

They did a little dance around each other for a few weeks, nobody really willing to take the plunge, but then Casey had a moment of courage and asked if she wanted to go for dinner to _really_ catch up. They hadn't had much of a chance to talk since she'd gotten back and at the very least, he'd missed his friend.

They ended up talking about everything and anything that night. They were almost _annoyingly_ similar, but at the same time strikingly _different_. He had a lot more angst to him, she was full of sweetness and light, but they both had the most wonderful hearts and their hopes aligned and it was exciting and fulfilling and he made her heart race like it never had before.

They somehow found themselves giving into their feelings and the angst was over. He leaned in and kissed her and the rest was history. She'd never had such strong feelings for someone so fast. She figured it was because they had been friends first. She knew enough about him to already start loving him.

* * *

Their relationship progressed steadily over the next month or two, yet she couldn't help but hold herself back a little bit. She didn't know why but she just didn't feel secure with him. Not yet anyway.

They were spending every night they could together. He'd practically moved into her apartment. Since Joe and Chloe had moved out to get their own place, it was feeling pretty empty anyway, so she didn't mind. One morning, as she watched him make her some breakfast, she'd blurted out that he should just move in so she can get this special treatment every day. They'd both taken it as a joke at first, but then the conversation turned suddenly serious. Now seemed like the perfect opportunity to live together. He could get out of Stella and Severide's hair and she needed someone to fill all this empty apartment space. So, they decided to move in together.

A brief chat with Stella a few weeks later revealed that _Gabby_ had caught wind of their relationship. Stella said Gabby said she didn't mind, but her tone when she spoke to her on the phone suggested otherwise. Brett understood why it may have been frustrating, but she and Gabby hadn't spoken in over a year. They couldn't really call each other best friend anymore. Gabby was the one who packed up and left after all. She'd left everything behind her – _including_ Casey. Though they'd always respect one another, and Brett figured this relationship wasn't all that respectful in Gabby's eyes. She did still scoff, however, when she'd received a text from Gabby telling her it was ok that she was dating Casey – Brett_ really_ wasn't looking for permission. She'd tried not to let it bother her. Gabby wasn't here after all.

Casey told her he loved her for the first time as they were moving their new couch into the apartment. She'd made a stupid joke that she'd instantly forgotten when the words 'I love you' fell out of his mouth afterwards. It was a sweet moment. He'd set the couch down with a chuckle and just looked at her before a wide smile arose on his face and he said it.

She froze only momentarily when he'd said it. She wanted nothing more than to say it back, but something just wouldn't let her. A part of her just didn't believe it. How could he love her when he swore Gabby was the love of his life?

"_We should probably keep arranging this furniture if we want to get a good night's sleep before shift."_ She'd replied as she walked into the kitchen to get a drink.

She felt so guilty afterwards. It was a pretty heartless response and she wondered how he could ever look at her the same way now thinking that she didn't love him back. But – he said nothing. He carried on like normal. He still looked at her with the same love in his eyes and he didn't pull away from her. It was like he knew something she didn't and was waiting for her to realise it. To realise her_ own_ feelings.

* * *

When they hit the 5-month mark, Brett started to wonder if they were the most dysfunctional couple in the world or not. She normally wore her heart on her sleeve, but this time it was different. This time she couldn't help but shy away from him, despite the efforts he went to everyday to make sure she knew how much he loved her.

But she still wouldn't tell him she loved him, except for _once_, and it just kind of slipped out when they were in bed one morning. He was kissing down her jaw and neck and she just got caught up in the moment and said:

"_Mm, I just love you"_ she'd mumbled out as his head shot up at her words.

Her eyes had quickly widened and she'd stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom before he questioned her anymore - or_ dared _to say it back.

He didn't tell her that it bothered him, although she knows it does. Casey wasn't normally one to beat around the bush, but he just let it slide. He let things stay under the surface, making Brett feel even more convinced of their dysfunction. This whole thing just felt totally out of character for both of them, but something just wouldn't let her walk away and something just wouldn't let_ him_ walk away. They were drawn to each other like two magnets and somehow, their severe dysfunction worked.

* * *

She told him she loved him again in a moment of vulnerability.

They'd just dealt with a pretty huge fire that Casey almost lost his life in. He escaped with a few minor burns on his arms and a few cuts and bruises here and there, but Brett almost lost her _mind_. She'd stayed professional until they got back to the fire house, and then she completely _broke_. She'd stormed into his sleeping quarters and slammed the door behind her, before shoving him in the chest in anger.

"_You could have died!" _

Casey looked at her a little shocked. She'd never been so expressive with him. He'd never seen her look so afraid before. She moved to shove him again, but he caught her arms this time and delicately pulled her into his chest and held her tightly, allowing her tears to fall.

And before she can stop herself, she says, _"I love you." _With so much vulnerability and longing in her voice. She had never said anything with so much _meaning_.

He looked like a child on Christmas morning. He held her tighter for a few moments before locking the door and closing the blinds. They made love, and she didn't even care how unprofessional they're being right now. She loved him and she was determined to _show_ him just as much as she was determined to tell him. She realised in that moment that she didn't know what she would do if she ever lost him.

* * *

It was only a week later that Brett started having those break up thoughts. She thought it was beyond ironic that Gabby would come back into their lives one rainy afternoon soon after Brett's confession.

In a way, Brett is happy to see her old friend. It had been a while, but Gabby _refused_ to say how long she's staying in town for. For now, she was doing some fund raising for her job, but she would be willing to extend her leave if 'necessary.' She claimed it would be good to catch up with her old friends, _especially_ Brett. She had scoffed at her reasoning. She knew better than to think this visit was more than a 'check up on Casey' visit. Or, more like a 'try and reconnect with Casey trip.' She figures it's probably cynical to think like that, but in a weird way she didn't blame Gabby. What she and Casey had was special. How could she not want that back?

So what did she do? Fight like hell for the man she loves, of course! Oh _wait _\- no, that's what a _normal_ person would do. Instead, she continued on her self-sabotaging streak and began _forcing_ Casey back into Dawson's arms. She figured it's bound to happen on its own anyway. She told Casey he should _personally_ help Dawson with her fund raising. He made it clear that he didn't think it was the best idea, but Brett keeps pushing and nagging and eventually he agreed just to get her to stop.

Just as he though they'd taken a huge step forward, she pushed them a million back. He didn't really blame her though. It seemed reasonable that she felt threatened by Gabby. What they had was special and real, but it was also in his past and he had no interest in returning there again. Not when he was stupidly in love with her.

* * *

A week and a half later and Gabby was still there on her fundraising expedition. She came running to Brett one afternoon asking if they could do to lunch so they could _talk_. Brett had wondered when this was coming.

_"Maybe she wants to catch up, Brett. Why do you have to be so cynical?"_ Stella asked, trying to remain optimistic about the situation.

But what was there to be optimistic about? She was sharing a bed with her ex-husband. This _surely_ couldn't go well. Emily also saw Brett's fears and told her it's reasonable to go in with her guard up a little, but she maybe shouldn't go crazy immediately. She should wait to hear what Gabby has to say.

At lunch, of course the first thing Gabby said was, _"So what's going on with you and Matt? You guys are so strange around each other."_

Gabby had clearly picked up on the weird vibes between the pair. She was better at the intimacy in private, but even that was a work in progress. Around everyone else, Brett deliberately stood on the opposite end to the room as him, especially when Gabby was around. A part of her didn't want to rub it in Gabby's face and then another part of her was just trying to protect herself from the inevitable outcome of Gabby's return.

Casey had noticed her pulling away from him. Of course he'd noticed her distance over the past 6 months anyway, but this felt more severe. In any normal circumstance, he would wonder why he was trying so hard, but he knew she was worth it. He knew she was worth fighting for. He just hoped she realised the same thing soon.

* * *

The following day, Emily called in sick and revealed she'd probably be out for a week. Stupid flu. Brett was on her way to call in a replacement when Gabby so _kindly_ offered her services. She really didn't mind hanging around for another week apparently! She and Brett fell back into a nice working rhythm with each other, but Brett could see clearly how Gabby is watching Casey.

The newly found cynic in her groaned that it's not fair for Gabby to be looking at him in that way. She left him after all. She made that choice and it wasn't fair that she should come back here and disrupt his world again.

Brett had also been taking note on how Casey was handling the situation. The first few days were undoubtably strange for him. She'd watched as a wave of emotions washed over his face in the space of a few short minutes. Sadness, anger, nostalgia, love, heartbreak.

She also noticed how he looked at_ her_ after Gabby had returned. He may have looked conflicted when he looked at Gabby, but the moment he turned to look at Brett, he looked so calm. He looked so at peace. Like he was looking at the best thing in his life. Anything he'd felt while looking at Gabby was washed away.

So, after the first few days, he didn't pay much attention to Gabby. He was nice to her, he was friendly, but he didn't look at her like he used to. Their time had passed – not that Gabby seemed to recognise that, however.

Every now and again, Casey asked Brett if she was ok. At first, she just responded with _"Yeah, I'm fine_" but the more he asked, the more frustrated she got. She knew he asked because he cared, but she really was fine! She was _completely _fine with the fact that Casey's ex-wife was lurking around, trying to win him back. She was completely fine with the fact that she had become an emotional no-show despite truly loving him with everything that was in her.

She cursed herself for being such an idiot – but she was convinced it was just going to have to be that way. She wasn't the romantic that she used to be. Not anymore.

* * *

Brett's mom had been hounding her for weeks to come home. She'd been deliberately avoiding Indiana since things broke down with Kyle. Mainly because she didn't want to have to listen to her mother's questions about it all. She wasn't really in any mood to listen to her pass judgement on all her failed relationships. She hadn't even told her about Casey yet. Probably because she was still expecting him to leave her for Gabby.

She finally gave into her mother 3 weeks into Gabby's Chicago return. She figured it would be good to escape to the quiet for just a little while. She'd asked Casey to come along and he'd happily said yes. Although he was a little surprised that she would want to go home at all. Of course when Gabby overheard her saying she was going back, she _insisted_ on coming. She was dying to see where little Sylvie Brett grew up! It was the most _bizarre_ trip Brett had ever taken, but she was too nice to say anything. She just accepted it.

When they arrived at her childhood home, Martha and Peter Brett were standing waiting at the front door for them with big smiles on their faces. Casey thought it was sweet and Brett did too. She really loved her parents despite the unintentional grief they tended to give her.

Martha and Peter gladly welcomed Gabby and Casey into their home. Martha gave Brett a knowing look over Casey. She instantly spotted the way he looked at her daughter. She instantly saw the spark between them and she had a good feeling about this one.

Later that day, Peter showed Gabby and Casey around the small farm they have outback while Sylvie watched from the window. She noticed how Gabby accidentally let all the chickens out and she and Casey desperately tried to herd them back in, laughing their heads off and making Brett's blood _boil_. Instead of doing anything, she once again swallowed her pride, turned around and helped her mother with the cooking.

Martha noticed how distant her daughter seemed. She noticed the longing in her heart. She'd heard about Gabby and Matt before. She'd heard about how in love they were and she was beyond surprised to find out her daughter and Matt were a thing now. Her surprise soon dropped however when she saw them together. They were barely touching, Sylvie could barely look at him, but there was still such a pull between them. She watched as her daughter tried to resist and she watched as Matt remained patient, but she figured it was only a matter of time before they both cracked.

That night, Brett was sitting outside by a log fire with a blanket wrapped around her. She was soon joined by Casey who handed her some marshmallows jammed onto a stick. She smiled gratefully. She loved s'mores. She and her brother used to come out here and make them all the time. There was something really sweet about doing it now with Casey.

"_I like your home"_ he said quietly as they toasted their marshmallows.

"_You're my home"_ she replied almost instantly as he turned to look at her. It's a rare moment of complete openness from her and he made a mental note to never forget this. It is one step forward and he has a feeling it's going to continue this way. He delicately kissed her nose as she smiles softly before she rested her head on his shoulder. She then took her turn to make a mental note to do things like this more often.

* * *

The following morning, Martha and George took the three of them for a walk through the town. Brett falls behind as she watches Casey converse about something with her dad. They seemed to get on really well. Gabby and her mother are also getting on swimmingly. It was like Gabby was somehow taking over her family too.

She watched as Gabby tripped and Casey instantly caught her.

"_Good thing you were there, huh Casey?"_ Brett asked. She'd hadn't called him Casey in a long time. She called him Casey when she was on a call or when she was mad. He figured now was the latter. It was in that moment, he finally cracked. Just as Brett went to speed past him, he pulled her back, forcing her to look at him.

"_Matt!"_ she exclaimed in shock at his movements. She tries to push him away – physically that is. She couldn't possibly push him any further emotionally. She forgets that he's pretty well built considering he's a firefighter and he barely moves.

"Listen to me," He says firmly as Brett finally stood still. "I know it's been strange since Gabby came back. She will always be someone special to me but – _I love you_. I love you so much I can barely _think_ about anything else. I can barely think about anything other than your smile and your sweetness and your joy." She frowned, questioning how he could think she'd been all of those things over the past few months. She'd been a shadow of her former self, but Casey knew it wouldn't last. He knew she couldn't not be herself. "Syvlie Brett I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I am trying to show that you are the most important person in my world—"

"I—"

"No, I'm talking." He said, cutting her off as Brett zipped her mouth. "Sometimes I've wondered why I still keep fighting this constant battle with you but – it doesn't take me long to realise that you are _completely _worth it. I know you don't want to love me, but I also know _you can't help it_. You may not say it and you may not show it, but I can _see _it in your eyes. I can see it in the way you look at me. I know that you want me just as badly as I want you. I want you and you know what? I_ need_ you. I know it probably sounds stupid and uh – saying this in front of half the people in this town is kind of embarrassing…" he said as he awkwardly scratches the back of his neck as she finally realises the number of people who have stopped to watch the scene in front of them unfold. Brett laughed to herself. What was one more scandal that she was a part of for the people of this town to gossip about? "But I mean_ every_ word." He continued as Brett's eyes pierced through him. "I love you Sylvie Brett and I know I will for the rest of my life."

She feels like all time had frozen around her. She really had no clue what to say to all of this_. He loved her._ She already _knew _that, she already _felt_ that but right now she truly, truly _believed_ it. She truly believed that no matter how hard she pushed, she would _never_ lose him. They were meant to be, and she had been taking it for granted. She had _exactly _what she wanted at her feet and she hadn't appreciated it because she felt like it wasn't hers to enjoy. She felt like she didn't deserve it. But she did. She deserved it because after all this time, he was the one for her.

She felt_ euphoric_ as she took a step backwards, tears in her eyes. He gulped as he noticed her step away. He half expected her to run – but she didn't. She walked forward again, and she launched herself into his arms, wrapping her legs tightly around his waist. They stumbled backwards before Casey quickly hugged her back, laughing slightly that they'd finally cracked through the seal. He looks over Brett's shoulder and sees that even Gabby is smiling. She gives him a knowing and accepting nod, and he knows that somehow, even Gabby found closure in that moment. Maybe that was what she had been seeking all along.

_"I love you, I love you, I love you,"_ Brett told him as she kissed his neck and he carried her forward, as the whole town cheered around them.

Brett swore she would never hold back again. Not when the love she had craved was sitting right at her feet. For the first time in a long time she felt safe in her relationship. She _knew _he loved her, she_ felt_ that he loved her she _saw_ that he loved her and that was _more_ than enough. She had a good feeling about the future, and she couldn't wait for the future to begin.


End file.
